post - in the heart stories

Julz Bolinayen is a Hilot Binabaylan currently based in Honolulu, O’ahu in the Kingdom of Hawai’i. A healing journey beginning in 2011, Julz began surfacing tattoos in 2013. A traumatic experience changed Julz, then a friend invited Julz to a Danza Azteca circle. This brought healing and Julx began to seek their own ancestral roots and traditions. “In my personal healing journey, I have experienced immense pain through body modification practices (tattoo and scarification) that are performed through ancestral ways of ritual where the pain is released through grieving and thus transformed into healing. This is honestly how my ancestors and guides communicated to me about how tattooing must be performed through ritual - that tattooing is a healing tradition. It is why I do what I do and it is a big part of why my teachers determined I become an initiated Hilot Binabaylan.” Julz passion is supporting peoples' healing journey by being of service through Hilot. Julz provides tattoo ritual, guiding the pain into healing, will sing ceremonial songs (haranas) during ritual, and is in service to those who will work with them.

Due to Covid-19, Julz is not currently tattooing but is available for ritual readings.

www.julz.live/readings
Patreon
@julz.bolinayen

When did you begin practicing the ancient healing arts and science of the Philippines?
I would say 2013 is when I began because it's the first time I surfaced a tattoo on anyone. But my healing journey began in 2011 when I first learned that we had pre-colonial healing traditions. I was specifically drawn to our ancestral practice of tattoo and began researching and learning more about it. Over the years, I searched for Filipinx/a/o teachers. I met Angela Angel who is my mentor in Philippine Ancestral Medicine. I met Julay of Sacred Spirit Ink who is my peer-mentor and fellow Tattoo Ritualist. I met Apu Adman Aghama and Lakay Magbabaya of the Hilot Academy of Binabaylan. I've been on this journey for almost a decade.

What piqued your interest in ancestral healing rituals?
In 2011, I survived a traumatizing sexual assault with a fellow QTPOC on the street with many bystanders looking on. Nobody helped us and I lost faith in humanity. At the time, I was still an active artist and community organizer. The experience left me hypervigilant and scared to leave the house or trust anyone. I left organizing, I stopped making art. My best friend was worried about my well-being. He invited me to come sit and witness his Danza Azteca circle dance and pray every Monday. For six months, I'd attend every Monday. I'd pray with them and I felt peace and belonging, even if only for just two or three hours per week. It was the only time I felt safe. During those times, I felt such immense gratitude to be invited into their sacred circle. I felt an awakening. I knew my heart and spirit was healing and I came to wonder what my own ancestral roots and traditions were. I decided to research what our traditions were. I came upon Ka Virgil's book Way of the Ancient Healer. There is so much wisdom in that book, but it was our tattooing that spoke to my spirit. From then on, I searched for more Filipinx/a/o books, teachers and people in diaspora who were also looking to get re-connected to our roots.

How did you get started in tattoo ritual? And how does it feel to tattoo individuals, knowing that they will carry the tattoos on their journeys?
In my personal healing journey, I have experienced immense pain through body modification practices (tattoo and scarification) that are performed through ancestral ways of ritual where the pain is released through grieving and thus transformed into healing. This is honestly how my ancestors and guides communicated to me about how tattooing must be performed through ritual - that tattooing is a healing tradition. It is why I do what I do and it is a big part of why my teachers determined I become an initiated Hilot Binabaylan.

In my years of providing tattoo ritual thus far, I have learned how much of a need there is for tattoo spaces where members of all my interconnected communities can bring their full selves to the room, express their emotions and transform their pain through receiving a tattoo through ritual. There is also a deep desire and need for connection to culture and ancestry. I am honored to provide a way of convergence where people can experience all of this through tattoo ritual. I am a queer, trans, genderfluid/non-binary brown femme, a survivor of DV, SA, CSA and also partially deaf/hard of hearing. The folks who request to see me for tattoo ritual are people in my communities with shared, similar or parallel lived experiences.

What makes handpoking tattoo and hilot an important ritual?
What I do goes beyond pressing ink into the skin with a needle that causes pain. I guide people to move through that pain, to release it by way of grieving. When we allow ourselves to grieve, we can then begin to experience healing. When people are experiencing pain while receiving their tattoo, I am simultaneously performing energy healing. It is through the medium of tattooing that the pain is felt and released, then can be transformed into healing energy. Through my experience in Hilot and tattoo as a ritual, I have the ability to hold the emotional, spiritual and mental capacity that is necessary for performing "tattoo ritual". This is why I do not identify as a tattoo artist and what I do is not simply or only tattoo art. "Tattoo Ritual" is healing work. Before we even embark on the full journey of tattoo ritual, we start first with talk story/sharing of why you want to receive a tattoo in ritual and if it's determined we should proceed, we start with a Kilubansa reading (a type of Philippine divination). When the day comes, we set an intentional sacred space together with my tattoo doula(s) who support us during ritual, there is an opening and closing invocation, offerings and altar building, and we follow the flow of ritual in non-linear time.

How can the art and ritual of healing help people?
My communities are seeking connection to their ancestors. They seek this connection through receiving cultural tattoos. There is pain in that disconnect, there is pain in the struggle to express emotions, and that pain lives in their bodies. Experiencing deep pain in the body from tattoo surfaces the pain and I support the person by energetically guiding that pain out through tattooing. It is released through various forms of grieving. I guide the energy of their pain to transform into healing energy. I am only the conduit who holds the responsibility of guiding and facilitating the ritual - it is the person’s own strength and inner medicine that is truly transforming their pain into healing.

What are you most passionate about?
I am passionate about supporting peoples' healing journey by being of service through Hilot. Hilot in common public knowledge is known as a traditional Filipino massage, but Hilot Pahid is actually the therapeutic massage that most of us have heard of commonly known shorthand as "Hilot." Hilot is actually our whole pre-colonial holistic healthcare system. Hilot is the ancient healing arts and sciences of the Philippines that includes our ancient energy healing, chiropractic care/bone setting, midwifery, therapeutic massage, fire cupping, herbal medicine, divination, mediumship, oracion and rituals.

I am also passionate about providing tattoo ritual because it is a healing tradition too. I see how inextricably it is tied to collective healing. The pain that a person is experiencing is not only individual, it is a collective grief. I intimately understand the importance of providing this service to my people - cultural tattooing has survived and evolved over centuries of colonization. Cultural tattooing continues to exist as a living tradition in various iterations through traditional handtap tattooing methods and with modern tattoo needles. My particular role and responsibility of protecting and practicing cultural tattooing for my community is through providing a sacred ritual of healing pain through tattoo, simply called "tattoo ritual."

I do not only tattoo people who can trace their ancestry to the Philippines. I tattoo those who are in need of grieving, in need of witness, in need of affirmation, in need of bringing their full selves to the room. Of course, it goes without saying, I only tattoo motifs that hail from the person's known ancestry. Ultimately, I am here to be of service to those whose spirits are ready to be in ritual and have made a request to work with me.

How does recognizing your roots bring you power? In art, in life?
I am a proud mannakigubat (warrior) and golden brown-skinned/kayumanggi queer Ilokano femme. Knowing what my life purpose is brings me some solace in this mortal realm, but honestly, most days I am overwhelmed by the role that I hold. It is not easy and I am always overthinking my intentionality and responsibility to this work. I am humbled each time I get to hold a tattoo ritual. It is beyond me and this lifetime. What brings me personal day to day joy is serenading others and myself. I love haranas, I love writing and composing my own music and I love arranging medleys from popular songs. There is healing in the art of song. I sing ceremonial songs to my clients during ritual. Singing is a source of inner power for me that is rooted in my Filipinx/a/o identity for sure.

With everything happening around Covid 19 and quarantine, how are you coping and continuing with your work?
I have been unable to offer tattoo ritual due to Covid-19 and quarantine. We do not have accessible testing in Hawai'i the way that states like California, Washington and New York does (to name a few). In Hawai'i, you must be symptomatic to get tested. Personally, I do not feel comfortable tattooing if myself and potential clients cannot get tested before meeting for a tattoo ritual. I have been providing "ritual readings" since quarantine started. Anyone interested in that can visit www.julz.live/readings. I also have a Patreon where I provide monthly ritual readings and share videos of music I'm working on.

Julz Bolinayen - Hilot Binabaylan